to lean now this way and now that — is, precisely, to have no policy. Not only do the words add nothing to the meaning but, as in Grandpa's \contradict it.
Plainly, they should be deleted (\always followed a policy of peaceful eoexistence\That statement makes sense, and here the words are essential to express the meaning. Plainly, they should be retained.
Sometimes, however, the choice is not so clear. What should be done, for example, with \force of habit? Is this just Chinglish for \mean to stress the notion of a policy? Perhaps we should keep the \sentence to emphasize it: \make it our policy to put quality first.\decide.
Machines have been devised to perform certain types of translation, but they cannot distinguish between meaningful and meaningless uses of the same phrase. That is the difference between you and a machine.
Twenty more examples of revision
Here are twenty more examples of superfluous nouns and verbs, together with suggested revisions.
In the A-versions the unnecessary nouns and verbs are underlined. In the revisions some of them were simply deleted; others were replaced by different words, and the new versions are italicized. The comments in brackets at the end of each example explain the reasons the changes were made. (The explanations in parentheses refer to other faults that were corrected in addition to those discussed in this chapter.)
Note that in every case the edited version is not only shorter but also simpler and easier to understand.
过去在广州闹革命时,我们既年轻又不知天高地厚。
1) A: When making revolution in Guangzhou in the past, we were young and arrogant. B: When we were making revolution in Guangzhou, we were young and arrogant.
[The past tenses of the verbs (\past. \
这说明为什么他们工作效率不高。
2) A: This accounts for the inadequate efficiency in the performance of their duties. B: This accounts for their inefficiency .
[People's “efficiency” normally refers to the way they do their work (perform their duties), so there is no need to spell it out.]
这九年是国民经济力量增长的一段时期。
3)A: These nine years constitute a period in which the national economic strength has increased. B: In these nine years the economy has grown stronger.
[\a period \is mere filler, adding nothing to the sense of \years and is
therefore unnecessary.\
(\
economy, unless otherwise stated.
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也必须结束领导机关陪着游击队东跑西窜的这种局面。
4) A: It is also necessary to put an end to the situation in which the leading organizations
accompany the guerrilla units here and there
B: Also, leading organizations should stop accompanying the guerrilla units wherever they go
[“Situation” adds nothing but a more complicated sentence structure.\to the situation in which students are late for class\is only a roundabout way of saying students must stop being late for class. \
为什么这些合同如此无生命力,如此不合实际,其原因就在于工会领导不懂得??
5) A: The reason why the contracts are so lifeless and out of gear with actual conditions lies in the fact that the trade union leadership didn't understand that ... B: The reason the contracts are so lifeless and unrelated to actual conditions is that the trade
union leadership didn't understand that ...
[Professor Strunk is particularly stern in his condemnation of the expression \He says unequivocally [p. 24], “It should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.”]
中国民航决定开展预订票及联票、回程票业务。
6) A: The Civil Aviation Administration of China has decided to start the business of advance
booking and ticketing on connecting and return flights.
B: The Civil Aviation Administration of China has decided to start advance booking and
ticketing for connecting and return flights.
[\
重点放在努力实现有效地增强国有大中型企业的活力这一目标上。
7) A: The efforts ... are all focused on the objective of effectively strengthening the vitality of large and medium-sized state-owned enterprises.
B: The efforts… are all focused on revitalizing (or: designed to revitalize) large and
medium-sized state-owned enterprises.
[\objective of\is another unnec, category noun. \strengthen vitality\= \revitalize\
(\华东野战军主力向南挺进豫皖苏平原执行外围作战任务。
8) A: The main forces of the East China Field Army marched down south into the
Henan-Anhui-Jiangsu plains in order to carry out the task of fighting on exterior lines. B: The main forces of the East China Field Army marched south into the
Henan-Anhui-Jiangsu plains to fight on exterior lines.
[\word).
(Note that \我们没有用没收的办法,而是采取赎买政策来改变资本主义所有权。
9) A: Instead of introducing the method of confiscation, we have adopted a policy of redemption to change the capitalist ownership.
B: Instead of confiscating property to change capitalist ownership, we have adopted a policy of
redeeming it.
[\noun + third word). \a policy of\was retained because in this context it is an
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important element of the meaning, not just a thoughtless cliché.
Note how changing the nouns \and \enables us — indeed, requires us — to clarify the sense by adding direct objects (\
因此,务必重视在政治和经济上促进老区的工作。
10) A: It is therefore imperative, both politically and economically, to attach importance to promoting the work in the old base areas.
B: It is therefore imperative, both politically and economically, to promote the work in the
old base areas.
[What is imperative is not to \importance to promoting the work\(i.e., to recognize its importance in principle) but to promote it (i.e., to take practical action).] 我们必须极其重视科研机构的作用。
11) A: We must attach great importance to the role of scientific research institutes. B: We must attach great importance to (or: recognize the great importance of) scientific
research institutes.
[If \great importance to\expresses the central idea; it can be modified but not edited out. Compare the use of the same phrase in the preceding example, where it is merely a superfluous introduction to the main action. ] 夺取上海的目标没有实现。
12) A: The target of capturing Changsha failed to be achieved. B: They failed to capture Changsha.
[\third word).]
日军认为光靠武力是无法镇压共产党的。
13) A: The Japanese army concluded that in suppressing the Communist Party the dependence on
the armed forces alone could not achieve success. B: The Japanese army concluded that it could not depend on the armed forces alone to
suppress the Communist Party.
[\third word).]
要达到这一目标,必须采取逐步转变的方法。
14) A: In order to accomplish this, an approach of gradual transition will be adopted. B: We shall accomplish this by a gradual transition.
[The structure \
(The sentence was changed from passive voice — \will be accomplished\— to active voice — \— in accordance with the English preference. Active voice is more natural, more direct, more forceful, and more readily understood. ) (Here again, as in example 8, \科研部门应采取措施对?进行适当调整。
15) A: Departments of scientific research should take steps to make a proper readjustment of… B: Departments of scientific research should readjust...
[We can take it for granted that the readjustment should be \
saying that the readjustment should be \
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(Review: \
replaced by a plain verb, \an unnec, introductory phrase that can be omitted entirely. )] 国民经济实力在此期间得到极大的增长。
16) A: The national economic strength experienced the most rapid increase during this period. B: The economy grew most rapidly during this period.
[\
(As in example 3 above, “economic strength” was changed because it is only a further abstraction for \granted.)]
必须做好明确规定其职能、机构和人员的工作。
17) A: The work of clearly stipulating their functions, organization and personnel should be done well. B: Their functions, organization and number of personnel should be clearly stipulated.
[\
\should be done well but that it should be done. In any case, the sense of \is expressed in \
还得做好城镇居民的医保工作。
18) A: A good job must be done in medical-care work for the urban residents too. B: Good medical care must be provided for city people too.
[Here, on the contrary, the point is indeed that the work must be done well, so the standard phrase is not just a mindless addition. It can be tightened by eliminating \has to be retained.
Note, incidentally, how the revision turns a vague, abstract statement into one that is precise and concrete.
全身心地投入实际工作对你找到解决所有问题的答案是十分重要的。
19) A: Plunging yourselves into practical work is very important for you to find solutions to all sorts of problems. B: If you want to solve problems, it is important for you to plunge into practical work.
[To \— \
Like \of,\
(\
很有必要努力改革粮食购销价格制订体系,进一步建立粮棉和其他主要农产品储量的调节制度。
20) A: It is essential to make vigorous efforts to reform the system for determining the purchasing and selling prices of grain and take further steps to establish the institution of regulating the reserves of grain, cotton, and other such major products.
B: It is essential to reform the system for determining the prices at which the state purchases
and sells grain and to take further steps to regulate the stockpiling of grain, cotton, and other major (or: basic) products.
[\
\
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noun + third word).
(The phrase \system of distribution clearer to foreign readers. \was omitted because in this sentence it means the same thing as \
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